


Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

by kcracken



Category: Bandom, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: A New Hope era, Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, F/M, Force Use, Gen, Jedi, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-19
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-15 10:44:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/848603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kcracken/pseuds/kcracken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A group of smugglers that do runs for the Rebellion in their ship The Fabulous Killjoy are contracted to take a woman to Alderaan and get way more than what they bargained for.<br/>(all titles taken from My Chemical Romance songs)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Early Sunsets over Corellia

**Author's Note:**

> I read a SW/Fredard crossover and it gave me ideas for this. There may be other band members showing up later, but to start, it's just Killjoys/MCR. I hope you will enjoy this epic story.

The cantina was smoky and dark. Fun Ghoul sighed as he leaned back in his chair, back to the wall. Beside him, Party Poison was drumming his fingers on the table. They were smugglers, so this bar was a typical spot to find them. He looked around at the aliens and humanoids that occupied the cantina. “So when’s this contact supposed to get here?”

Poison stopped his fingers briefly as he checked his chrono. “Any time now. Just so you know, it’s another Rebel job.”

Ghoul groaned this time. “Are we gaining a fucking conscious or something? These Rebellion jobs are getting more and more dangerous.” He reached down to double check that his blaster was strapped on his hip and he still had his vibroblade in his boot.

“At least they pay well.” The red headed Corellian tensed slightly as he saw someone in a brown cloak enter the cantina. He watched as the owner lowered the cowl to reveal a human female with soft features and long, light brown hair. He pursed his lips as he kept an eye on her. When she noticed him, she turned in their direction and headed right towards their table.

She sat down on the chair opposite them. “Are you the owner of that hunk of junk in docking bay fourteen?”

Ghoul stiffened and leaned forward to tell her off, but felt a firm hand on his arm. He narrowed his eyes at Poison then crossed his arms and sat back. Poison leaned forward to reply. “She may not look like much, but she will hit point-three past light speed.”

She slid a data chip across the table. “Are you available for a round trip to Alderaan and back?”

“Alderaan?” Ghoul sat up, looked between them then hissed, “Are you serious? That’s too close to Coruscant. We get caught there, we’re goners.”

“Quiet, Ghoul,” Poison commanded as he picked up the chip and slipped it into his reader. His reader was a bit older, so it took a moment for the information to load. He glanced at the details of the mission, but it didn’t mention how much they were going to get paid. “There’s something missing.”

The woman pulled something else out of her pocket and slid it across the table, but left her hand on it. “Do we have a deal?”

“Depends. How much?” He motioned his head towards her hand.

“Fifteen now and another twenty when you get me back here.”

Ghoul nearly choked. “Thirty five?”

Her bright blue eyes flickered over to him. “Amazing. You know how to add.”

“Why I oughta…” Ghoul rose from his chair and towards the woman. Poison quickly reached out to grab his jacket and pull him back.

She stared directly into Ghoul’s eyes. He stared back, but soon started feeling really uncomfortable, as if she was looking into his very soul. It was how Poison made him feel sometimes when he would get a bit mouthy. He ran a hand through his dark hair as he broke contact. Finally she said, “If thirty five isn’t enough, I’m sure I can find someone else to take me.”

“Thirty five is acceptable,” Poison said as he reached out for the credit chit that was under her hand.

She nodded, releasing the chit and sitting back in the chair. “How long will you need to be ready to leave?”

“We’re ready whenever you are.”

She stood and pushed the chair back in its place. “I have to retrieve my bag and will meet you there in about fifteen.” She turned on her heel and walked from the cantina.

“She’s creepy,” Ghoul said as she walked away.

“She won’t be on the ship long.” Poison downed the rest of the Corellian ale that was getting warm in the mug before him. “Come on, we need to be prepped to leave as soon as she gets there.”

 

Jet Star was outside his ship checking her over. Poison Party and Fun Ghoul had already returned and said the Rebel operative would be there soon. They hadn’t said much, but Ghoul was in a foul mood, which wasn’t unusual these days. He looked up as he heard a noise and saw a woman entering the bay. She was dressed in casual clothes, not the cloak Poison had said their contact was wearing. “Are you in the right place?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m pretty sure. This is the Killjoy, isn’t it?” She glanced over the freighter with an experienced eye. “She’s beautiful.”

“Thanks,” he said and grinned. “I’m Jet Star. Welcome to the Fabulous Killjoy.”

“You can call me Shaana.” She walked around the ship, trailing a hand along her hull.

“You know a bit about ships?” he asked, following her around.

“Yeah, my parents owned a refueling station. I was raised around ships.” She came back around to the hatch. “I suppose we should get on board so we can get this over. The sooner the better as far as your shipmates are concerned.”

“Oh, that explains Ghoul’s attitude when he came back.” He grinned and pushed his curly hair back away from his face. “I think he felt a bit threatened by you. Can’t see why, though.”

She turned to smile at him. “Honestly, I’m really nice. He was just being very…” She waved a hand because she couldn’t come up with a good enough word to explain.

“Ah, he just doesn’t like when things get out of his control.”

“Understandable.” She began walking up the ramp. “So, you’re okay with where we’re going?”

He walked behind her, watching her. “I haven’t been told where we’re going, though I can’t see why you’d ask me such a thing.”

She was about to reply when she was interrupted by Party Poison. “Well, looks like we can get on our way. Jet, let’s get outbound ASAP.”

“Sure,” he replied, heading towards the cockpit. “Where are we going anyway?”

“I’ll tell you as soon as we’re out of the atmosphere.” He gave Jet Star a dismissive wave and turned his attention back to his guest. “I suggest you strap in. Takeoffs from Corellia can get a bit bumpy. Oh, and try and stay in this room only. The rest of the ship is really none of your business.”

“Yes sir,” she muttered as she walked over to one of the acceleration couches in the lounge area. Fun Ghoul glared at her as he walked through on his way to the cockpit. There was a fourth man, young with blonde hair. He was leaning against the wall watching her. She raised an eyebrow. “Hello.” He didn’t speak, just turned and followed behind the others.

“This is not going at all how I thought,” she said with a sigh as she strapped herself in. She felt the slight bump that told her they’d lifted off. It was a little disconcerting not being in the cockpit. Even more so that she wasn’t in charge. Normally she would have taken her own ship to Alderaan, but this mission was much too critical for her to possibly be caught. She leaned her head back and soon felt the bump that told her they’d cleared the atmosphere. 

Soon she heard raised voices coming from the cockpit. They sounded angry and frustrated. She took that to mean Jet Star was not happy with where they were traveling. A moment later, she heard someone stomping down the hall. As she predicted, Jet Star appeared, his face red with his suppressed anger. He stopped before heading down the hall towards the bunks and looked at her. “To answer your question: I am fine with where we are going, but I would have liked to have been told before taking off.” He screamed the last part back towards the cockpit before returning his gaze to her. “I’m just curious now as to why you asked in the first place.”

She opened her mouth to answer, but he didn’t wait. He stormed down the hall. Shaana glanced up to see the young blonde watching from the opposite hallway. “What did you ask him?” he questions.

“I just asked him if he was okay with where you were taking me.”

An eyebrow rises. “And why did you ask that?”

She blinked at him. Did he really not know? Or perhaps he was just testing her to see how she knew. Or… She reached out her senses and felt a tingle of the Force being used and it was coming from him. Her defenses were still up, so she didn’t have to worry about him breaking through. “Because he looks Alderaanian.”

He watched her for a moment more before turning and heading back towards the cockpit. Shaana unbuckled the belt and moved to a more comfortable position on the couch with her back against the end and her feet up before her. She pulled out her data pad to go over her notes.

“We’ll be there in a couple of hours,” Poison said as he came into the lounge. “You want some caf?”

She was surprised by his offer. “That would be nice.”

He pulled out the caf maker and started brewing a pot. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“No, go ahead.” She sat up and leaned against the table.

“Does anyone in the Rebellion know what you are?”

Her eyes narrowed and she glared at him. “Does anyone on this ship know what you can do, other than me? And maybe that blonde kid, who is probably your brother from the looks of it?”

He paused, his hand gripping the edge of the counter tightly. "I asked first," he growled.

She smiled because she knew she had him backed into a corner. “Some know. They don’t say anything to anyone. They wouldn’t say anything about you.”

“Of course not, because they will never know. Isn’t that right?” He turned to glare at her.

“I’m not going to say anything. But I could help you develop your abilities.”

“I don’t need any help,” he snapped. The caf was ready and he poured two cups, bringing one over to her. 

“Thank you,” she said as she took the cup from him and sipped the dark liquid. “Well, if you should change your mind…”

“I won’t.” He took his cup and headed back to the cockpit, leaving her alone in the lounge.


	2. The World Is Ugly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive on Alderaan and Shaana has a very important decision to make.  
> (Title taken from My Chemical Romance song of the same name)

Shaana sighed and rubbed her eyes as she stood to take the empty cup over to the sink. This was certainly not going as she has hoped. She had chosen the Killjoy because of Party Poison. She’d been recruited like this and gotten tutelage in the process.

She thought back to when she ran away from home. It felt so long ago that she had gotten upset with her parents because they wouldn’t send her to flight school with her brother. She crept out in the middle of the night and stowed away on a ship that had stopped at the refueling station. No one had noticed her, and she always wondered if her parents even noticed her missing.

She got in with a group of smugglers because she was young and female and really good at picking pockets. She didn’t tell anyone that she had a secret to making her good. She knew well enough that she shouldn’t tell anyone she could use the Force. She worked until she’d saved up enough money to buy her own ship. She took her new ship back to Corellia, back to the Gus Treta station, only to find that the refueling station was no longer there. When she asked around, she found out that her parents had saved the station when some smugglers who were refueling took off while they were still hooked up and caused a fire. They had detached from the station before it exploded. Her parents had died instantly.

She should have been there. She should have died with them. The guilt was nearly unbearable. She had cried for three days straight. On the fourth day, she realized she needed to do something to help, so she got in contact with the Rebellion to make runs for them. They put her with a group of humans and aliens, one of which was an actual Jedi. He took her under his wing and taught her how to use her abilities better. He also had her make her own lightsaber. 

During her time working with the Rebellion, she had reconnected with her brother. He had started smuggling for them, too, and now was one of their top fighter pilots. Seeing him had brought back all of her guilt about leaving, but he convinced her that it was okay. Their parents would be proud of what she’d become. They had never stopped loving her, and neither had he.

That was the day she decided she was going to do anything and everything she could for the Rebellion. And that was why she was here, on this ship headed to Alderaan to meet with former Senator Organa. It was also why she had chosen the Killjoy. She had run into them before, back when she was a smuggler. She had sensed Poison’s abilities then. And now she wanted to help him hone his abilities and use them against the Empire. Unfortunately, she hadn’t gotten off to a good start. Poison obviously didn’t want anyone to know he was a Force user, not that she could blame him. 

Moving back over to the couch, she pulled off her boots and stretched out, leaning her back against the corner wall. Meditation would help. And if it didn’t solve her problem, at least it would help her get back into focus on her job.

 

The planet was a beautiful shade of azure as she looked upon it from a distance. It looked so peaceful. Her vision was abruptly interrupted by a blast that destroyed the planet, shattering the peace and exploding the planet into millions of pieces.

Her eyes snapped open and she gasped for air. She cursed the Force for showing her such a thing, but she knew what it meant. She had recognized the planet and now she had a decision to make.

“Are you all right?”

The soft voice startled her and she turned toward it to see Kobra Kid, the young blonde, sitting at the other end of the couch from her. “Um, yes,” she said finally. “Just… a bad dream.”

He nodded and went back to reading whatever he had been on his data pad before she interrupted him. Jet Star walked through the lounge towards the cockpit. “We’re about to revert to real space,” he said as he passed by.

Shaana sat up and stretched. She pulled out her data pad and thumbed it on, pulling up her code so they could land on Alderaan for her meeting. Poison appeared at the doorway. “You’re on,” he said. “I assume you have landing procedures?”

She nodded and stood, moving towards him. “Yes. I have the codes.” She paused when she got beside him. “My mission parameters may have changed due to some information I’ve just received. I will let you know more after my meeting. I promise you will get more money if the plans change.” She continued on towards the cockpit, not even waiting to see his response.

He watched her retreating back for a moment then turned to Kobra Kid. “What information?”

Kid shrugged. “She was, you know...” He waggled his hand in the air. “Meditating, I think. She awoke rather suddenly. Maybe she saw something she didn’t like.”

Poison frowned at the thought. “I guess we should be prepared for anything.”

 

They landed on a pad near the royal quarters. An escort would be waiting for Shaana to take her to her meeting. She had changed into her robes, clipping her lightsaber to the inside where no one could see. She tossed a comlink to Party Poison. “I’ll contact you if plans change,” she told him. Before she left the ship, she turned to Jet Star and simply said, “I’m sorry.” She hurried down the ramp to the waiting escort.

She was shown to a sitting room in the palace. Bail Organa was waiting for her. He turned from the window when he heard the door open and smiled. “My, you favor your great grandmother a lot.” Bail had met her great grandmother back when he was a very young prince traveling with his father to Courscant for Senate meetings. She was a teacher at the Jedi Academy and liked to go to Senate meetings because of her ability to understand all languages.

Shaana’s face flushed bright red. “Thank you, sir,” she said as she reached a hand out to shake his. “Thank you for seeing me.”

He took her hand and pulled her into a hug, making her blush an even deeper red. “I will always see you, Jedi Antilles. You are more like family than a stranger.”

“Please, sir, you can just call me Shaana. I’m not an official Jedi yet.” She stepped back from him and smiled nervously.

“Ah, but you really are.” He smiled back. “All right, Shaana. I think it is wonderful you were named after her. It makes it easier. I know what to expect from you.”

She looked at the floor, wringing her hands together. “I am sure you aren’t expecting what I’m about to tell you.”

His brow furrowed. “That sounds like it may require sitting down.” He swept out his arm towards two comfortable chairs that were facing each other at a slight angle. He moved over and sat down after she had chosen a seat. “So, what is the problem?”

She looked down at her hands nervously. “I don’t know what to do. I meditated while we were in hyperspace and saw something horrible.” She looked up into his eyes. “Alderaan is going to be destroyed. I don’t know by whom, but I saw a blast and then… it was gone.”

Bail’s face dropped. “Are you positive it was Aldreaan?”

“Yes, and my first instinct is to get you as far away from here as possible. But then I think about everyone else on the planet and know I can’t take them all with us. What do I do?” She felt tears pricking the corners of her eyes.

He looked very somber, reaching up to stroke his chin thoughtfully. “Obi-Wan used to always say to act on your instincts, that they were usually right.” He paused and saw how torn up the young woman was at the prospect of leaving millions of people to die without warning. “Give me a moment to gather some things and put the word out to evacuate and we can leave.”

She wiped her eyes and looked up at him. “Really?”

He stood and nodded, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I trust your instincts, Shaana.” He left her there, heading towards his rooms.

She composed herself and pulled out the comlink. “Poison, plans have changed,” she said into the microphone. “Be prepared to take off as soon as we get there.”

There was a brief pause then Poison’s voice came through. “We?”

“I’ll explain when we get there.” She cut off the comlink and shoved it back in her pocket. This certainly wasn’t going to go over well with them, but perhaps when she offered more money they would accept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but it's sort of a bridge to the next part. Next chapter will probably be a lot longer. Thanks for reading!


	3. Disenchanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun Ghoul really doesn't trust Shaana. Shaana makes a decision that she'd hoped she'd never have to make and also makes a deal with Party Poison she hopes he'll be able to keep.

“I don’t trust her.”

Poison turned to look at Fun Ghoul where he paced in front of the ramp that led up into the ship. “I don’t trust her either, but we need the money and we won’t get the rest of it until we get her back to Corellia.”

Ghoul threw his hands up in frustration. “Why do we always need money? And why do we always have to take jobs from the stupid Rebellion to get it?”

Poison sighed. “Because, _Frank_ , it’s the safest way to get the money we need to keep the ship flying.”

Ghoul stopped pacing when he heard his real name. “Gerard,” he said softly. “There has to be another way.”

“You know there isn’t. Not for us. Not for the Killjoy.”

“One day that will change.”

“Just not today.” Poison headed up the ramp and back into the ship leaving Ghoul alone.

 

Shaana was trying like crazy to think of a way to save Alderaan. It felt horrible to know that millions would die. Even knowing that Organa was going to tell them to evacuate didn’t help. She looked up when he entered the room carrying a bag over his shoulder.

“I made an announcement and have put things in order. Let’s go,” Bail said, holding out a hand to help her to her feet. He tilted his head as he looked at the worry on her face. “Stop blaming yourself, Shaana. It isn’t your fault.”

Her face screwed up in irritation. How did he know? “But I can’t do more. I need to do more.”

He squeezed her hand and shook his head. “You have done all you can. I knew many Jedi who blamed themselves for things that happened, but after meditating, they came to the same conclusion.”

She nodded in response. “I guess we should go then.”

“Yes, let’s.”

They were joined by four guards as they walked through the halls back to the landing pad. Shaana was no longer worrying about the people who would die. She was worrying about how the crew of the Killjoy was going to react to bringing Organa with her.

Fun Ghoul saw them enter and turned to call up the ramp. “She’s back,” he said, “and she has someone with her.”

Shaana walked straight for the ramp, but was blocked by the shorter man. He had finally recognized who was with her. “Stop. You’re not coming on here with him. You do know who that is, right?” He was completely freaking out.

“I would hope I know who he is considering he’s the person with whom I came to meet.” She tried to brush past him, but he stayed in her face.

“You really think Poison is going to let you bring him on board?”

“I’m hoping he will. This is very important.” She sidestepped and was able to get past him and up the ramp. Party Poison was waiting at the top. “We need to leave as soon as possible,” she said to him. “And you and I need to talk.”

Poison glanced over her shoulder at where Organa and Ghoul were coming up the ramp. He called down the hallway to Jet Star to get them in the air. “Are we heading to Corellia?”

“We need to go away from the core. Anywhere. When we get far enough away, I will contact the Rebellion to see where to take Senator Organa.”

He nodded. “Kobra, go tell Jet. Ghoul, stay here with our guest. And you come with me.” He headed down the hall towards the bunks, not even checking if Shaana was following.

She turned to glance at Organa. He nodded at her and went to sit on one of the couches. She followed Poison back to one of the empty rooms. “I’m sorry,” she said immediately, “but it was necessary.”

Poison narrowed his eyes at her. “You do know that he could get us in a lot of trouble, right?”

She shook her head then sighed. “Look, he’s very important to the Rebellion.”

“I really don’t care. His daughter is the current senator and she could easily have us arrested, or worse.”

“Bail is one of the creators of the Rebellion. His daughter would never do anything like that.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Look, I know what you can do and you know what I can do. I swear to you that I will never tell a soul. I hope you will extend that same courtesy to me. Knowing that, I had a vision while I was meditating of Alderaan being destroyed.”

His brow furrowed. “Destroyed? How could someone destroy a planet?”

“I don’t know. Organa seemed to be confident in what I saw. Maybe he knows something. Regardless, we need to get him to the Rebellion. They will need his help. Plus, I’ll give you an extra fifteen once you get me back to Corellia out of my own pocket.”

Poison considered her offer. “So, fifty total.”

“Fifty total.”

He crossed his arms and looked at her for a moment. “All right. You should probably head to the cockpit so you can send your message as soon as Jet gets out of hyperspace.”

She nodded and walked past him out of the room.

 

“She what?” Jet spun around to face Kobra who had just entered the cockpit and told him what was going on. He’d already gotten clearance and was exiting the atmosphere.

“She brought back Organa with her. That’s who she was meeting.” Kobra flopped down in the co-pilot seat. “I thought you should know.”

Jet sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “That totally explains why she said what she did before she left.” He thought of the cryptic apology the woman had said to him as she’d run off the ship for her meeting. “But why did she bring him and ask to take off so quickly?”

Kobra shrugged. “She just said to get out of the system quickly. You’re to head anywhere away from the Core.”

Jet growled and reached over to the nav computer, picking a destination. This was going to go badly, he just knew. “I really fucking wish people would stop keeping things from me in regards to this mission,” he said as he punched in the coordinates for Myrkr. It was the closest place he could guarantee there would be no Imperials. Once they were far enough away from Alderaan, he kicked in the hyperdrive.

He sat back and closed his eyes, hoping for a little quiet until they got to Myrkr. But as it usually was, he wasn’t going to get that chance. He felt Kobra shaking him gently and opened his eyes. “What?” he questioned a little sharply, looking at the skinny blonde, but he wasn’t looking at him. Kobra was looking at the doorway into the cockpit.

Jet turned to see who was there. A jumble of emotions went through him when he saw her. He wanted to yell at her for bringing Organa on board, but at the same time, he wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked. He shook those thoughts from his head as Kobra stood up.

“I’ll, uh, go make some caf,” Kobra said as he slipped past Shaana to head deeper in the ship.

Shaana stepped into the cockpit looking a little nervous. “Mind if I have a seat?” 

Jet huffed and waved his arm. “Go ahead. We should be near Myrkr is a couple of hours.”

She sat down and stared out the viewport. “Myrkr. Not much there. Good choice.”

“Thanks,” he muttered. They were silent for a bit before he turned towards her. “What do you know? Why did you say you’re sorry to me? Why in the hell did you bring Organa on board my ship?”

She looked slightly startled by his outburst, but quickly regained her composure. She studied him for a moment before tackling his questions with a question of her own. “How much do you know about Party Poison and Kobra Kid?”

He looked at her in confusion. What did Party and Kobra have to do with this? His questions had been straightforward and should be easy to answer. “Answer my questions first,” he demanded.

She sighed and sat back in the copilot’s chair. “I know that you’re Alderaanian. I said that because Alderaan is about to be destroyed. I brought Bail with me because I didn’t want him to die, I couldn’t save everyone on the planet and he is very important to the Rebellion.”

He listened to her answers, but didn’t really hear much after she said his home planet was going to be destroyed. “Whoa, wait a minute, back up. That’s impossible. A planet can’t be destroyed.”

“Except that it can and it will. I’m sorry.”

“But how do you know that? It was perfectly fine when we left. If it’s going to be destroyed, maybe we should go back and protect it from whatever invaders are coming.”

She leaned towards him and put a calming hand on his arm. “We can’t.” She wasn’t sure how to explain this. At least she was pretty good at projective telepathy. “This is what I saw during my meditation,” she said and shared her vision with him.

He instinctively closed his eyes when the vision appeared in his head. When the beam struck the planet, he squeezed his eyes shut. “Stop. That’s enough.” The images disappeared from his mind and he opened his eyes to look at her in disbelief. “That’s… that’s impossible. There’s no ship big enough for that kind of firepower.”

She looked at him sadly. “Organa immediately agreed to come with me when I told him, like he knew of something that could do this kind of damage.”

“Sithspit,” he cursed under his breath. “I should go talk to him.”

She looked at him curiously. “Why? There’s nothing any of us can do now. We just need to get him somewhere safe.”

“Yes, we should, but I really need to talk to him.”

She nodded. “Okay. I can introduce you.”

“No need,” he said as he stood. “He’s my uncle.”


	4. Our Lady of Sorrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaana sends a message to the Rebellion. She tells Jet a secret and he returns the favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long with this chapter. I've been working on other stories and this one kinda stumped me. Hopefully it will start flowing again. Thanks for sticking with me.

Shaana stayed in the cockpit the entire time Jet was gone. She really didn’t want to know what has happening, if they were arguing or having a touching reunion. It didn’t matter. They were both going to be sad when their home planet was gone. 

Jet returned a half an hour later. He didn’t acknowledge her presence, just sat down and checked to see how much longer it would be until they reached Myrkr. She watched him cautiously, trying to determine if he was okay. He finally turned and looked at her. “At least I know now why your name sounds so familiar.”

Her brow furrowed in confusion. Her name was familiar to him? “How?” she asked, turning in the seat to look at him directly.

“My grandfather talked about your great grandmother all the time. And Uncle Bail really liked her, too.” He turned back to the console, flipping a few switches. 

“Oh.” Yes, of course he would hear stories about her great grandmother. That was logical considering she had worked with Bail and his father. She was about to speak again when he reached to take them out of hyperspace.

She looked out the viewport at the green planet. Myrkr was covered in forests. She didn’t know much about it, but there were tales of Force blocking animals that lived there. She wasn’t sure if that was true, but she really didn’t want to check that out. Turning to the comms center, she typed in her message and broadcast it on a few frequencies she knew the Rebellion used. “Well, now we wait.”

They sat in silence for a few moments until Jet stood. “I’m going to get some caf. Would you like some?”

“That would be nice,” she replied.

He walked out leaving her with her thoughts.

 

They were still waiting for a reply and on their fifth cup of caf. They didn’t talk much, but Shaana decided to change that. “I ran away from home when I was thirteen.”

Jet raised an eyebrow and turned his head to look at her. “Okay,” he said slowly. “Why?”

She shrugged. “I was an angry teenager. My brother was in flight school and I wanted to go, too, but my parents wouldn’t let me.”

“Why not?”

“I think it was mainly to protect me. I didn’t know I was Force sensitive then. I mean, there were signs, but nobody flat out told me. I ended up having to find that out on my own.” She put her feet up on the edge of the seat and hooked her chin over her knees, sipping her caf.

“So your parents never told you?” He had turned his chair to where he could see her. He noted how she had drawn her legs up to her chin, a protective move he had learned when he was young. Being a part of the royal family meant he had to be taught courtesy and how to read people. Shaana was hiding.

“They didn’t have a chance,” she replied softly.

Oh, so that was it. Her parents had died. From the way she was hugging her knees, he knew she must blame herself for what happened. He wasn’t going to push for details, though. That didn’t matter, because she was going to tell him.

“You know the Gus Treta Station at Corellia?” She watched and saw him nod so she continued. “It used to have a refueling station. My parents owned it.” She drank the rest of her caf and leaned to put the cup on the console.

“Supposedly there was this ship full of smugglers or something that was refueling and CorSec found out about them being there and were coming after them.” She paused for a moment, squeezing her legs tight. “So, thinking they were going to be caught, they took off… while they were refueling.”

Jet’s eyes widened. He knew what that meant. One spark and everything would have blown up. 

She continued after taking a shaky breath. “My parents did the only thing they could do. There’s an old Jedi saying. ‘The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.’ They separated from the station.” Her voice grew very quiet. “My brother was on the way back from school. He saw it. He saw the refueling station explode.”

He watched as she angrily wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said, feeling dumb after he did.

She shook her head. “Don’t be. I should have been there. I should have died with them. I…” She broke off and covered her face with her hands.

Jet had no idea what to do. She was baring her soul to him and she had no idea why. “It wasn’t your fault,” he finally said.

“No, it wasn’t. But I should have known.” She sighed and laid her head on the back of the seat. “After I turned thirteen, I told my parents again that I wanted to be a pilot. They flat out refused, saying that it wasn’t right for me. I was angry. The last time I ever saw them, we argued and I was stupid. Not the best way to leave things.”

She ran a hand through her blonde hair. “A freighter had stopped to fuel up before heading to Courscant. I snuck on and found a place to hide. They found me stealing food on the second day out. I begged them not to take me back, to teach me how to pilot their ship. Thankfully they were really nice and said I could work for them. 

“I worked hard and learned how to pilot several different ships. They started paying me and I saved up enough for my own ship. After I got my ship, I went back home to show my parents how much I’d learned.” She rested her chin on her knees. “But they weren’t there. That was the worst feeling in the world, to know everything was gone.”

Jet looked at her for a moment. She looked sad, but she wasn’t upset. She was just reliving a memory. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I want you to know that I understand. I wish I could have done more, but it’s kinda hard to keep an entire planet from being destroyed.”

“You really believe that’s going to happen?”

“No, I know it’s going to happen. I trust in the Force. It has never steered me wrong.”

He sighed and sat back in his seat. He wasn’t sure what to believe.

“And I really hope you will stay in touch with your uncle. Bail is a good man and he’s your family. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t found my brother. I… I probably wouldn’t be sitting here.”

Jet closed his eyes. Those words. He’d thought them before about himself. If he hadn’t hooked up with Party Poison, he wouldn’t be there. After a few more moments of silence, he spoke. “Want to know why I left Alderaan?”

She wiped her sleeve over her eyes as she turned to look towards him. She didn’t speak, but she knew he would keep going. This was obviously something he wanted to share this with her. She waited patiently for him to continue.

“My mom was one of the princesses, obviously. My dad was a Duke and a really good friend of Uncle Bail’s. They met, fell in love, got married and had three sons. I’m the youngest.” He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling the strands apart in an attempt to calm himself. He’d never told anyone this, not even Poison.

“So, yeah, each of us had our future planned out for us from the beginning. My oldest brother, Jonathan, would take over the family land, become a Duke and follow in my dad’s footsteps. Kale was raised to be a doctor. And me… I was supposed to join the army and become a Royal guard to protect the king, which by then would be Uncle Bail. Needless to say, I wasn’t thrilled.”

He glanced at her and was surprised that she was still looking at him with rapt attention. He licked his lips and took a deep breath before continuing. “When I got out of school and before I was sent to basic training, I stole one of Uncle Bail’s ships. It wasn’t anything big, pretty much a hotrod, but it would get me out of the system and somewhere I could sell it and have enough money to survive until I could find a job.

“I got a lot more for the ship than I figured, so I bought this baby and got into transportation. I’d take anything, people, animals, merchandise. It didn’t matter. If I could make money, I’d take it wherever you wanted.” He smiled fondly, remembering back to those days. 

“One day this guy comes to me and wants me to get him in and out of Corellia without being seen. I’m sure you know how hard that is. CorSec is all over the place. But I told him I’d do what I could. Little did I know that he was trying to break his brother out of jail.”

“Poison?” Shaana asked, completely absorbed in his tale.

He smiled. “Yep. It was Kobra who had hired me. We had to leave quickly and evade CorSec, but they were able to pull my ship ident. That meant that I was now officially a part of the Killjoys. I had to do a full scrub on the ship and rename her. That’s why I picked Fabulous Killjoy. It meant she was a part of us, too. Poison and Kobra took me in and we started smuggling things a bit more daring than I was doing. I think you probably know the rest.”

She nodded. Yes, she knew. Of course she did. She had done a lot of research about the Killjoy and her crew. If only they would listen and join the Rebellion. Before she could think anymore, Jet spoke again.

“I never went back to Alderaan. I told Poison I would never fly to Alderaan. I just never wanted to go home. But we were picking up cargo on some backworld and some other traders were talking. They were from Alderaan. They were talking about the death of the Duke and the Princess.” He stopped, his voice breaking a little.

She watched him, her heart breaking just a little more. He truly did have something in common with her. No wonder he wanted to share this story after she had made her confession.

He swallowed hard and cleared his throat before speaking again. “I kept listening, hoping they would say it was a rumor or that it wasn’t my parents. They… they mentioned Jon and Kale. Jon was to become the Duke and he and Kale were devastated. M-my name was mentioned. Everyone was wondering where I had gone, so they said. I had to know how they died, so I approached them cautiously. They didn’t recognize me, thankfully. My parents had been on their way to Central City to attend court. They were stopped by highwaymen. My dad couldn’t stand highwaymen. I’m sure he challenged them and that’s why they were killed. But sometimes, I wonder if it wasn’t one of the other land owners who wanted our lands who had them murdered. Aldreaan might look peaceful to outsiders, there was a lot of infighting under the surface.”

“Did you mention that to Bail? I mean, if he knew that, maybe it would give you closure. I know it can’t bring them back. Nothing is going to bring them back, but you’ll be happier knowing the truth, right?”

“Maybe,” he said with a sigh. “But if Aldreaan is going to be destroyed, is it even going to matter?”

“It’ll matter to you.” She reached over and placed her hand over one of his, squeezing it gently. “Thank you for telling me. It means a lot.” She smiled at him and stood up. “I’m going for more caf. I’ll bring you back a fresh cup.” She finally let go of his hand then headed out of the cockpit.


End file.
